If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero

(Source: brobecks, via zackisontumblr)



i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search

i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement

(via richbit-ch)



I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 


When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

I work in a cake shop and I have to check all orders for delivery before they get sent out, my first shift involved me bringing out a huge 10 inch cake that weighed at least 13 pounds with the words ‘FUCKITY BYE!’ In capitals and attached was a gift message of ‘smell ya later Louise’

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via little-nogitsvne)






Frequently asked questions

is he gay

I’m literally in tears right now this is beautiful

I turn to this when i’m sad in life

I want to know this person

(via brokebackbromance)